The past few days have been nothing short of humbling.  They have included:

* my first super hard bonk in about 2 years on my bike no-less.  My bike has become my “crown jewel”, the one thing thing I can always turn to when I want to feel good and strong.  Nope.

* my first Crossfit workout to which I learned that my upper body is weak, I can’t do a ring dip, and 70 ring rows leave my arms un-extendable for (at least) 2 days thereafter (this could be longer, the jury is still out on the length of frozen, painful arm).

* my first yoga class in about 8 weeks which reminded me I need to do more yoga and stretch more because my muscles are like guitar strings.

* and an epic failure of a track workout this morning.  The anticipated set was 3x (1000 at TH/400 jog/400 at TH/400 jog/200 at TH/200 jog).  I made it through one set before succumbing to quitting (honestly not sure if I’ve ever just quit a workout in the middle), driving to the treadmill and finishing with something much easier.  It was also pouring, so I’m making myself feel better than I even attempted to do this in the rain, but truth is, I was just a slug.

This was me at the track this morning, except I wasn’t a man,my shorts were a bit longer and it wasn’t sunny .

What am I trying to take away from these tough days?

 * I am trying not to beat myself up for once in my life.  This is hard for me.  I am harder on myself than anyone has or ever will be in my life but I am working on this.

 * I am working with my coach to get to the root of the poor performances.  Friday nights light dinner attributed to Saturday’s crash and burn.  Lack of yoga has led to string muscles…easy fix, go to yoga!  Lack of sufficient strength training = inability to do insanely hard handstand pushups and wobbly ring dips.  Fix?  Do more functional strength.  I can’t quite get to the route of the track workout this morning other than the rain, yoga last night, and I think just plain mental exhaustion.  At this point, track sessions on my schedule instantly raise my stress levels – it’s hard as hell!

 * I am resting tomorrow and will move ahead Thursday hopefully feeling like a new person.

 * I am attempting to pull some positives from the last few days as well vs. focus on the negatives.  Some positives:  Our dog Parker is slowly improving and we are beyond thankful to still have him with us for now.  I think being emotional about him has led to sleepless nights and more-than-usual tiredness/stress on my body.  Secondly, I had a phenomenal swim yesterday!  I swam longer than I’ve swam since IM training and felt great the whole way through, despite my “Crossfit arms”.  My (pool) swimming is coming along nicely with my increased training.  Lastly, I ended today with a fun, fast, peaceful bike ride, by myself, in the zone, preparing for my races this weekend.  It was beautiful out and I needed some time with myself and this was just the fix.  I wish I had the time to ride my bike every single day.  I think I would be much less stressed as a person.

 In a nutshell, tomorrow off will be the most necessary part of this whole process.  I am realizing more and more how important recovery truly is in order to get quality from each workout.  Thank you Stacey for being patient with me during this very tough learning curve!  Here’s to a rest day!

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